As less and less of Americans attend church, we are more and more likely to have unchurched neighbors. Like me, you probably hope to see your neighbors encounter Jesus, but between my introversion and their religious apathy I am often unsure how to connect them to Jesus and the church. Over the past three years as a church planter, here are some practical action steps that have helped me.
You cannot reach someone you do not know. We must stop seeing our homes as a place to escape from the world, and begin to see our homes as gifts from God to invite the world into. Say hello to your neighbor when you see them. Introduce yourself. Know your neighbor’s name and pray for opportunities to build trust with them every single day. If you are new to the area or the street, take a small plate of cookies around to the neighbors and introduce yourself. Let them know that you want to know them and develop a relationship. If you have been on the same street for a long time, it is never too late to start showing hospitality!
This leads directly into the next principle.
Eat with your neighbor. Ask them over to dinner, if they seem hesitant, start by bringing them food. We live next to five Villanova students and they have been cautious about accepting our invitations to dinner. Instead, when we bake cookies or pies, we bake an extra one and take it to them. Often we get to have conversations as they eat the food, and it opens up our relationship for more trust to be built. There is a reason that most dates involve a meal. Eating together psychologically bonds people. If you want to reach your neighbor’s heart with the good news of Jesus, start by filling their bellies!
Often we see our unchurched neighbor and think only of what they need to hear. They need the gospel, but if we want an opportunity to share it with them, we must listen to our neighbors. Find out what they are passionate about. Hear what they are concerned about. Do not worry so much about what you are going to say. It is rare for someone to really listen to you and consider what you have said and respond. If we model that behavior, our neighbors will constantly be wanting to get your advice and input in their lives. Listening means we value people. We think they are worth listening to. Listening removes a lot of barriers between people. If your neighbor is hostile to religion, ask why, and listen instead of making an argument or an excuse.
Jesus told us to love our neighbors, and while His command is not limited to the people who live next door to us, it does include them. Loving your neighbor does not mean you let them walk all over you. I have had to ask my college student neighbors to turn down their loud music in the middle of the night. I have even had to call the police once after I repeatedly asked them to quiet down at 2 a,m. Loving means that I still hope and pray every day for their good. You will never reach someone you despise. Your unchurched neighbors probably have some unchurched behaviors that appall you. Do not get distracted, and forget that we are all equally in need of Jesus. Weep for your unchurched neighbor. They are spiritually hungry and do not even realize it. They are starved for community and are not sure where to seek it.
Your unchurched neighbor needs you. I believe that God did not place you on that street, in that house or apartment by accident. I believe it was by design. Jesus strategically placed you there to build relationships with your unchurched neighbors and to tell them that He loves them. When I moved into my current apartment, my wife and I quickly met our new college neighbors. I was surprised that one of them was from Tennessee where I had grown up. After talking a little while, we discovered that our fathers had actually worked together. What are the chances of an unchurched college student moving 800 miles away and living next-door to a pastor who knows his family? Those things only happen if there is a supernatural being strategically placing us to announce His love to our neighbors.